pretend
by kristy87
Summary: Sara and Greg are dating each other, but Sara isn’t happy with him...will Grissom get his chance? Please R and R


I wrote this story a long time ago...so please don't stone me for OOC things : )

disclaimer: I own nothing

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**pretend**

He knew that it was his fault. It had been him who had been feared to confess his feelings to her. And now he had lost her…he had lost her attention. She had turned to someone else. And it was his fault! When he had realized that the sexual tension between them had rose ,in the last few month, he had pulled the emergency brake…he had stopped working with her, he had turned to Sophia, he had tried to ignore her, but in fact she was still the first thing on his mind when he woke up and she was the last thing he saw before he felt asleep. She was the subject of his dreams at night. In short, she was all that he could think about. But she never knew about this. If she would have known, would she have turned to him? If I would have allowed myself to get closer with her these few month ago, would she have turned to him? These questions almost killed him. And so did the pain, caused by the fact that she was dating Greg. Seeing her smiling at Greg, seeing her talking with Greg, seeing them kissing, hands holding, hugging, caressing each other after shift almost killed him.

He wished he'd know what to do, he knew some possibilities, but none of them were legal. Sometimes the strong demand to kill Greg scared him. This guy wasn't the one to blame for this. It was him, he himself was the one to blame. He sighed softly and tried to concentrate on the case file in his hands. Footsteps in the hallway made him turn to his office door. He saw Sara and Greg walking down the hallway. Sara glanced into his office for a second. Grissom's heart began to beat faster, his breath was slower, deeper, painful. She winked at him and smiled softly. This let him stop breathing for a few seconds. When she and Greg had already passed by and where out of sight he was still remaining in silence and without taking a breath. He tried to keep this moment in his eyes, tried to let it happen in his mind again and again. In his mind Sara passed his office again, her hair flew a little bit in the wind, her eyes shined, her lips moved softly into a soft smile, she glanced at him and in his imagination he glanced back at her. Then he remembered Greg next to her. His mood changed and became even more worse than before.  
Again footsteps in the hallway. He forced himself not to look into the direction of the sounds. He heard the person entering his office. Now he looked up, staring into Sara's face. His heart almost jumped, it bet faster, breathing was difficult when she was in the same room with him.  
"Hey…", she said softly.  
"I thought you already left."  
She smiled softly. "Yeah…I wanted to, but I forgot to ask you something."  
"Then ask.", he said and smiled softly at her.  
"I…could I maybe take off the next weekend?"  
"Next weekend?…wait a second…", Grissom flicked through a file and then took a closer look at one sheet. "Greg already has this weekend off…I'm sorry but since Sophia quit the job this team has much too less members…I can't work all on my own."  
"But…I mean…this is really important Grissom. Please!"  
"Sara I can't help it…I'm sorry, but as long as our team consists of only three members; I see no chance for you and Greg to take off the same days. I'm sorry."  
Sara nodded disappointed. "Ok…thank you for nothing.", she said and turned around angry.  
"Sara wait!"  
She turned around to him.  
"I wish I could help you out…but I have no chance…don't blame me for this!", he said and tried to sound as if he'd feel sorry.  
She nodded softly, then left him without saying anything else.

The weekend came and Grissom and Sara were the only ones at the scene at this time.  
Grissom glanced at her and noticed her bad mood. "What's wrong with you today? Are you still angry because I couldn't let you take this week end off?"  
"No…it's something else."  
"What?"  
"I don't want to talk about this!"  
Grissom's heart bet faster…what had changed her mood? She had been happy before. But now her mood was bad…really bad. Maybe she and Greg had had a fight, maybe they broke up! This thought made him grin for a second.  
"Hey…that's not funny!", she said angry.  
"Sorry Sara."  
"It's just that…I wish I could be happy, but I can't as much as I tried, the last time I have been really happy was…I think this was when you asked me to come to Vegas to investigate Holly's death."  
"But I though Greg makes you happy?", his heart was beating even more faster…she was not happy with Greg! This felt like honey running down his throat, sweet honey.  
"He…he never made me really happy…sure it feels good to be loved…but taking does not make you happy, when you're not able to give something back. I don't love him…I thought I could love him one day, I mean…when you find something that's making you happier, not completely happy but happier than you were before, it's not easy to let it go…even if it's selfish and you hurt somebody else…it's hard to let go."  
In Grissom's head were a lot of thoughts…when he realized that most of them were selfish…he cleared his mind. He tried to say something that could comfort Sara who was close to tears. He saw that tears rose up in her eyes. "Sara…let's have a break and let's go for a walk."  
She nodded and striped off her gloves and followed him out.

They walked in silence for a while. The scene had been near to the desert, which they had reached five minutes ago.  
When they were that far away from the city that it's light weren't seeable anymore and only the moon and the stars lighted up their way, Grissom stopped and sat down into the sand. "Sit down here with me.", he said, reached for her hand and dragged her down to the ground. She took seat next to him.  
They remained in silence. A few minutes later Grissom lay back on his back and stared up to the stars. Sara glanced at him. He caught her by looking at him and a smile flashed over his face.  
"Have you ever been walking far enough away from the city to see the stars?…I mean, we were here and investigated crime scenes, but when we did this we weren't looking at the stars."  
"You are interested in astronomy?"  
"No, not really…but I love the beauty of the stars."  
"You do?"  
"Yeah…they are almost as beautiful as…"  
"…as beautiful as what?"  
Grissom took a deep breath. "They are not as beautiful as you are."  
She lay down next to him. "Really?"  
"Yes…oh yes Sara!"  
Suddenly he felt her hand on his chest. He turned his face to her and looked into her eyes. She bite on her bottom lip and leaned with her face over his. He felt how her lips came closer to his. He could almost feel their softness before they had touched his lips. He felt her breath on his skin and this let a feeling of happiness and excitement rose up inside of him. His hand stroke over her back and then he began to caress her cheek with his thumb. Then he dragged her face closer to his softly. Her eyes were closed when their lips met. Feeling her lips on his, feeling her tongue massaging his, tasting her, let tears of joy rose up in his eyes. They shared a passionate kiss and he wished she'd never stop kissing him. His hands slipped under her vest and shirt. He caressed her back and then rolled over her. His knees lay left and right from her and her arms were twined around his neck. He stopped kissing her for a few seconds.  
"I love you Sara Sidle! I wished I'd told you before, but I needed something to open my eyes."  
"It's ok…I did anything better than you did…I always knew that I loved you, but I pretended to love Greg because I hoped to forget you…I should have known better!", she whispered into his ears and began to kiss him again.

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**THE END**

Some reviews would make my day... : )


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